Blockbuster Idea: Pirates of the Caribbean XIV

So here’s an idea for a new blockbuster Hollywood picture.

I have recently been tetering at the edge of the world location scouting for Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer’s new historical dramatization, Pirates of the Caribbean XIV, Capt. Jack and the Bay of Pigs.

It’s a very interesting story that gives us the real info about what happened during the botched CIA mission to Cuba. What they didn’t tell us was what that the CIA found an aged, and somehow still living, band of pirates from the 19th century. The missile cirsis and ensuing embargo on Cuba has nothing to do with Castro supposed Communism, but the need to protect the truth that the fountain of youth is real and still active on the island of Cuba. Castro was acutally in cahoots with Kennedy to keep the secret from falling into the hands of the Soviets.

The whole “Bermuda Triangle” thing is a red herring to draw adventure and consipiracy seekers away from Cuba on a wild goose chase and into a desctructive trap that both eliminates the potential enemy and also keeps the “myth” alive.

The film ends with the assasination of Kennedy at the hands of rogue British agents, desendants of the British fleet captains who lost track of the pirates 100 years earlier and are still smarting over having lost control of the Carribbean. It sets up nicely for another trilogy within the bloated franchise.

The only bad part about the gig was that they could only pay me in Spanish Dubloons. It’s hard to just take those to the ATM and make a deposit.

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